 Some Nice Definitions
School:A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance:A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse:A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage:It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Tears:The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture:An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference:The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise:The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary:A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father:A banker provided by nature.
Boss:Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician:One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor:A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic:Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile:A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office:A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn:The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.:A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee:Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience:The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb:An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher:A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death  | 
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